


Perfect Balance

by Cureless



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, One Shot, Short, shyan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 08:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16036985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cureless/pseuds/Cureless
Summary: Recently, Ryan has slowly learned to come to terms with the fact that his feelings aren’t normal for a friendship. Solid denial morphed into something closer to anxiety or fear, and Ryan adopted the mentality that his friendship with Shane was a careful balance. Ryan was not allowed to act on his feelings, or else that careful balance would be disturbed and everything would come crashing down.It was like there was an itch in the back of his brain every time he had a conversation with Shane. Ryan could feel his heart speeding up and his hands would sweat and feel clammy. In the back of his head he would always find the urge to just blurt out what he’d been thinking about for months.





	Perfect Balance

**Author's Note:**

> My first Shyan fic, also I’m new to writing fics in general

Shane had always been an object of affection in Ryan’s eyes. No matter how much they “fought” over their contrasting beliefs, Ryan had always treasured the bond they have shared for years. However, Ryan was never the type of person who would be considered “in tune with their emotions”. For years Ryan had thought that Shane was just a really great friend, and the tightness in his chest that seemed to only come into existence around Shane was just a sign of how they were platonically close.

Just typical bro feelings.

It doesn’t mean anything if Shane makes Ryan feel so much safer in all of their haunted house adventures. It doesn’t mean anything if sometimes Ryan thinks that Shane is the only person in the world that he could never get bored of. It doesn’t mean anything if sometimes Ryan wonders what it would be like to kiss, or touch, or even seriously date his friend. It just goes to show how close he really is to Shane. As a friend.

Plus, everybody gets curious sometimes.

_“Supposedly, this is where she drowned her child, and then herself. So, of course, we’re gonna lock ourselves in here. Alone.” Ryan was slightly shaking from the nervous energy that was building inside his chest. His voice quivered a little when he spoke, and Shane patted him on the back to encourage Ryan to step into the dark bathroom._

_“Two minutes.” Shane sighed out in a monotone voice, not doing much to hide his boredom._

_“Is there anybody here?” Ryan called out hesitantly. He jumped and swore. Something had just brushed against his neck, and his sudden freak out caused him to slip on the bath tiles. The door swung open as the loud thud from Ryan’s fall rang out._

_“You okay? Did the ghostie trip you?” Shane mocked him, but his tone of voice seemed to hold at least a little bit of concern._

_“Something touched me.” Ryan was hyperventilating. He took a couple of seconds to calm his breathing. “I just freaked out a little bit.” He rubbed his own arm where it was sore from the awkward landing._

_“What a surprising turn of events!” Sarcasm was dripping from Shane’s voice and it made Ryan chuckle. “Get out of there before you hurt yourself.”_

_Ryan gladly obeyed._

Recently, Ryan has slowly learned to come to terms with the fact that his feelings aren’t normal for a friendship. Solid denial morphed into something closer to anxiety or fear, and Ryan adopted the mentality that his friendship with Shane was a careful balance. Ryan was not allowed to act on his feelings, or else that careful balance would be disturbed and everything would come crashing down.

It was like there was an itch in the back of his brain every time he had a conversation with Shane. Ryan could feel his heart speeding up and his hands would sweat and feel clammy. In the back of his head he would always find the urge to just blurt out what he’d been thinking about for months.

As time went on, the careful balance really felt like it would topple.

The car pulled up to the end of the gravel road. The dark forest really put Ryan on edge. Shane used to help with this kind of situation, but right now the crew were away in their own hotel and it was just Ryan and Shane. That didn’t help his nerves at all.

_“Hey, are you alright?” Shane waved his hand in front of Ryan’s face. Apparently he had been trying to get his attention for a while. Ryan came out of his daze and laughed a little._

_“Yeah, sorry, just thinking about how we’re gonna set up the tent.” Ryan spoke as if he was still a bit zoned out. Truth be told, he was just really tired. And nervous. Normally the nights with Shane go well because Ryan is so spooked out by the house that he doesn’t even have time to think about his feelings, but this place doesn't seem very haunted._

_They clambered out of the car and pulled the tarp out of their trunk. Ryan began to work on setting up the frame, not even paying attention to what Shane was doing. After a few minutes of working alone, Ryan began to search for Shane. And he found him just sitting on the dirt and staring at the sky._

_“Shane, I don’t wanna be the only one working here.” The atmosphere of the area made Ryan feel like he had to whisper. Shane focused his attention to Ryan and just smiled, motioning for Ryan to come closer. Ryan hesitantly placed the plastic sticks on the ground and sat next to Shane._

_“Look.” Shane whispered and pointed at the sky. Ryan gasped as he took in the amazing view. Being miles away from any civilization meant that there were no streetlights or buildings to pollute the image of the millions of stars above them._

_“This just goes to show that if we get attacked by a demon tonight nobody can help us. We’re so far from everyone.” Ryan was trying not to act impressed. He wasn’t really scared of demons at this location. Shane laughed and slid onto his back._

_“Ryan Bergara, I don’t get you.” Hearing Ryan’s name out of Shane’s mouth sent a shiver up Ryan’s spine. “You obsess over demons and ghosts when there are things like this to admire. Things we know are real.” Shane gave up on whispering and had gradually gotten louder and louder as he spoke. Ryan knew that astronomy was something Shane was really passionate about, especially since he was much more open to alien theories._

_“Sorry, but ‘buzzfeed: astronomy’ doesn’t really have much of a ring to it.” Ryan joked and they both burst out laughing. Ryan allowed himself to lay down next to Shane, and Shane carefully put his hand over Ryan’s. Ryan felt his breath hitch, but he didn’t pull his hand away. He tilted his head to face Shane, but Shane was just smiling up at the stars._

Eventually Ryan would have to just confront his feelings head on. The amount of stuff he was holding in wasn’t good for him. He has sworn to himself that he would tell Shane some day, but every time a moment comes up that feels right, Ryan chickens out. His brain just blanks, and all he can think about is the perfect balance that would be ruined.

Was it really worth keeping the balance if it meant the constant anxiety and stress would stay too?

Ryan tried to push away the thoughts and memories that were impeding him right now. He has to face what is happening right now, but it’s all so sudden and unexpected that it is forcing his brain into overdrive. Forcing him to think instead of act on the situation.

_“Why are you all the way out here?” Shane had snuck up behind Ryan. The sudden sound of his voice making him jump. Shane laughed as Ryan placed his hand on his own chest._

_“I don’t know, I guess I just need some fresh air.” Ryan lied. They had been at a bar, just having a nice night out with their coworkers. Shane had been laughing with some blonde for the last fifteen minutes, so Ryan just needed to get away and have some time to calm down. He just kept reminding himself of the perfect balance._

_“Is something wrong?” The question surprised Ryan, who quickly shook his head as Shane sat on the bench with him. “It just feels like— like you’ve been ignoring me lately.” It was weird to hear Shane speak so seriously. The joking mannerisms that are usually present weren’t there now._

_Ryan cautiously placed his hand on Shane’s, in the same manner that Shane did on the night they set up camp in the woods. Ryan saw Shane’s pained smile. He regretted touching him like that, but as he was about to pull his hand away Shane flipped his hand over and squeezed it comfortably. A sign to stay._

_“I’m sorry, I just had a lot of stuff on my mind. I didn’t mean to just start ditching you like that.” Their eyes met as Ryan spoke. He felt suddenly drawn to Shane, more than ever before. It was just the two of them on a bench in front of a busy bar, but it felt like such a beautiful place._

_Shane was leaning in and closing his eyes. Ryan’s heart was racing, but at this point all he could do was close his eyes and let Shane break the balance. Their lips met, just a gentle brush and shared breath._

_The kiss lasted only a second before Shane pulled away._

Ryan had been stunned and unresponsive for a few seconds. All of this activity in his mind felt like forever, but like how people see their lives flash before their eyes, it was only a moment before Ryan actually grasped what just happened. The balance was gone. Fuck the balance anyways, it was a stupid metaphor.

“God, I’m sorry.” Shane mumbled to Ryan. Their fingers were still interlocked. Ryan yanked the other man closer and wrapped his free arm around his back. His head rested on Shane’s shoulder.

“Don’t be sorry.” Ryan whispered into the crook of Shane’s neck. He felt Shane shiver with his breath.

Ryan unhooked his hand from Shane’s and moved both of his arms to loop behind Shane’s neck. This time, Ryan was the one to press their lips together. The fear that had been building up for months was finally gone. Ryan could feel Shane’s smile, and Shane had placed his hands on Ryan’s hips. The kiss deepened, and Ryan allowed Shane access to his mouth for a few seconds before breathlessly pulling away. It was better than he ever imagined it would be.

“You wanna go back inside?” Shane gestured towards the bar behind them and Ryan nodded.


End file.
